+++
date = '2025-08-02T20:34:25-04:00'
title = 'In Place of an Introduction'
+++

Before I speak of anything valuable, there is an itch to twaddle for a bit and satisfy ego. There are some questions which (I know nobody would ever ask them anyway) I would like to answer. This is on one hand. On the other, I am aiming to set some boundaries, draw an imaginary circle in order to put my own self in place, as if saying "this is why I am writing this, this is why I was bothering with this site, why I was selecting proper fonts, designed the layout, and etc. 

Of course I do understand, I do understand maybe better than some, that the very ability to speak alone at all doesn't mean that I have something to say. These days everyone exclaims from their corner, everyone argues, everyone asserts and blames, and the words "specialist" and "it is proven" long ago turned into a mockery. Information is available, the speed of thought has decreased so much that in some groups the consciousness of all individual people has recently merged into one, which certainly does not bode well for any of them. It only takes two clicks to download any book. And even if it's hard to read the books, it also takes two clicks to read about any of them instead.

Yes, I confess in advance: I got nothing to say! There is no such thought I could call mine, there is no such idea I could in good conscience call new and offer as a revelation and lead the people. Though I would not even desire for such thing. But indeed in anything we start we never do actually think about novelty at all, novelty in general. It is the opposite: when think of our immediate surroundings. If we offer a hand to a friend, surely it's not in order to save every one on the planet. If we share our most pure and sincere experiences, we absolutely not, not even for a second, actually consdering these experiences unique. And nevertheless we share, exactly because our immediately surrounding cannot know about every last thing going on in the world, about all the best ideas, no matter how wonderful, and so on. 

And he who thinks otherwise can never take the first step, for it is vanity.

As such, I conclude that all my notes and records are what under other circumstances would become "outpouring" (and that happened) to the people closest to me. If I considered it worthy to spend time of these closest to me people on descriptive descriptions of any interesting interest, then I do also considered that I did have something to say. The only important thing here is my own impulse, not objective value which I do not measure and do not even want to measure.

Even if I think that I am a small-minded man, that I haven't lived, that I haven't experienced anything, that I haven't actually seen the people, that I am a "product of our time", even so there is no way to conclude that I am not allowed to write, because it cannot be that I am the only one such person. For if we all are small-minded now, therefore we all can feel something similar, and therefore in all such small-minded people there can be a seething anger about whatever (or about absence of whatever), they can be full of motivation to unite around some common cause, seek like-minded ones, group into something bigger than any of them individually, especially in our broad and loud world. And since that's the case, my creative process can be regarded as an unconscious expression of the will of this very niche, of these very people with these very characteristics, so that my observations and conclusions would echo in their souls and they would become a little better together with me.

Thus despite the fact here I fuel my ego and put my lethargic opinion in the middle, in the actual notes themselves I will try to focus on observation, on some kind of application, on a "unifying principle", should this even mean anything. Simply speaking, I will try to deliver, why this or that interesting finding from the ancient times may have a value today, and through the prism of an inner, uneducated and in many ways limited observer, myself as the author. By this definition I specifically and deliberately intend to sift out all kinds of "collecting", lists, "this summer I this much", "I listened to this many ones", "here is the list of my purchases", "such is my activity", "this is how I rate it", "7/10 plot, 9/10 characters, the cover art is good!" and other nastiness I used to be involved with. I will try to avoid opinions from myself in the spirit of “it seems to me” and so on, because in itself has no value, and is not interesting.

I completely reject the presentation of these thoughts in the format of a social network with feedback. Those who really need to write to me either already know where to find me or will find my e-mail somewhere on the main domain. Keeping comments, links to “where to find me” and, God forbid, likes and “upvotes” - all this corrupts and shifts the focus away from the idea. And I still believe I have an idea (and those who know me, also realize that I am a weak person, and especially succumb to such hooks).

All now is said!

I wanted to answer in advance, why this particular picture is in the background, and what it means to me and my whole “idea”. I wanted to, but apparently un-wanted now. I've already typed almost 1000 words, so I'd better leave it for the future as a separate post.

Thank you.
